Re-up

I realized not too long ago that the past year or so for me has been one of constant change, most of it negative. First, I dropped out of college, which wasn't too much of a loss, since I didn't want to be there in the first place. The real loss there was the fact that I left without a degree, basically wasting three years of my life. Second, my girlfriend of three years left me. That struck me hard, as I saw a definite future with her, and in all honesty, I still do miss and love her. Finally, in a move I thought could only end well, I got hired to my local police department. Things went smoothly until I ultimately failed to qualify with my sidearm.

So, I have had around 13 months to think, evaluate, and act on these changes. As far as the first: I plan on going back to school at some point. Quite simply, if I plan on advancing in anything, I'll need that fancy piece of paper. Regarding the ex, well, that's for another blog.

Now my career, that I'll share:

Almost exactly a year after my first application to the department, I put in a fresh one. Since resigning I've wrestled with a lot of things, namely: is this what I really want to do? Am I cut out for this? Do I really want to sit through another 5 months of training? While I'm not thrilled about the prospect of repeating my training, I know this is something I want to do, and I know I need to make some adjustments to be successful this time:

1. I need to get into better shape. I started the last academy overweight and out of shape. While my size was a benefit in some cases (defensive tactics/ground fighting) it did not serve me well during our PT. I could make the excuse that I didn't really know what to expect, but the fact is I overestimated my ability, and underestimated the toll four years of a near sedentary lifestyle took on me.

2. Obviously I need to get out to the range. I've been skeet shooting a couple times, but shooting clay pigeons, and shooting for my sidearm quals are two different things. I haven't been able to yet, due to some financial restrictions, but I am trying desperately to get some rounds downrange.

3. I need a little bit of an attitude adjustment. I went into my last academy my usual cocky, laid back, flippant self. There are situations where that's alright, but I have to do a better job of recognizing when is a good time.

So, here's to hoping I get another shot (no pun intended). Maybe if this works, some other things will fall into place.